Second Chance
by RushedUponATime
Summary: One-Shot. Edward returns with Bella after their reunion in New Moon and waits for her to wake. As he waits he needs a distraction and listens to his iPod. He gets inspiration for his apology based on the song Second Chance by Faber Drive.


**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight (in this case New moon) that's by Stephenie Meyer or the song Second Chance by Faber Drive but I love them!**

**And thanks to my beta: Princess-Serenity-324**

Second Chance

Edward's POV.

I patiently sat on the bed, my arms around Bella, as she slept. The clock in her room was taunting me as the number changed; a constant reminder of how close we came to losing each other and how much time I already wasted. As time went by, it got me more anxious, on how much time I had left.

One side of me wanted Bella to stay asleep, so I can spend a little more time with her, while the other was eager for Bella to awake, so I could apologize. I wasn't sure how she would take it, after all that I have done, leaving her heart-broken.

I wonder if she could forgive me.

_Fuck,_ I couldn't even forgive myself for the damage I've done, how could she? I thought it would be best to leave, trying to force her to live a normal human life, to protect her from what I am, but seeing the results from it, I was regretting that choice miserably. I single-handed ruined our relationship, pushing her away and shutting myself and my family up.

I was selfish, inconsiderate, and stupid; I underestimated the love bond we formed with each other. It caused me a lot of pain being away, but I didn't expect it to affect Bella this much, thinking I was doing something of benefit and that time would heal all wounds.

_Bullshit,_ I should have known she loved me as much as I did. Does she still love me now?

Frustrated that I couldn't read Bella's mind, I just had to wait for her to wake before getting my questions answered. I replayed the thoughts of Alice's mind, maybe I could get an idea of how Bella's feels toward me now.

But it just made things worse, seeing Bella in a state no better than mine, full of depression and sadness. The conversation with Charlie, gave me enough insight to know that the week after I left caused Bella great distress.

I winced at the images of Bella during that week; she was a mess, curled up on her bed against the corner of the wall, head between her knees, not moving from that position, and sobbing uncontrollably. No wonder, Charlie thought he had to hospitalize her; she wouldn't even eat or drink, isolating herself.

Life for her was living hell, she was empty and it hurt me so, much knowing I was the cause for this.

Bella was quite still in her sleep. Maybe because I was here, it comforted her. I liked to think that. That idea gave myself a reason to stay. But at that moment, she starting squirming, and mumbling something in her sleep, shattering my hopes.

I listened and was able to make out some of the words, like monsters, Jacob, Volturi, clock tower, Alice, faster, Victoria, Charlie, and it's too late.

I felt disappointed I didn't hear my name (which she usually says in her sleep) and a hint of jealousy that she mentioned Jacob. Then she started screaming and shaking. I felt so helpless just sitting there, while she was suffering.

I really wanted to wake her, and embrace her, reassuring her that she's safe now, but I didn't know how she would react and she needed to rest, so I was fighting back that urge. I was also scared that Charlie would come in, cutting the time with her short and that I would have to leave. It stabbed my heart knowing that if Charlie came, I wouldn't get a chance to apologize.

Luckily he didn't come, probably used to her acting like this and then his words repeated in my head.

"Even now, I still hear Bella screaming in her sleep…" Charlie shuddered in my memory.

Eventually, Bella calmed down, and went back into an uneasy slumber. That's when I heard it…

She whispered "Edward."

That gave me a spark of hope, and the way she said my name burned my ears, missing the sound already. She didn't say anymore after that, and silence surrounded the room. The only sounds made were the frantic beating of her heart, and the shortness of her breath, which I usually found comforting, was now disturbing.

I pulled out my iPod and plugged in my earphones, needing a distraction from the stress. Once it turned on, Bella's lullaby immediately started playing which was unbearable to listen to now. I skipped it and a few others that held too much memory, until I found a perfect song Second Chance by Faber Drive. It totally captures how I was feeling right now and it matched the situation completely. I switched the playback mode to repeat instead of shuffle listening to the song a few times.

Bella begun to stir, during the sixth time through and rubbed her eyes awake. When she was fully awake, she looked up at me with wide-eyes, in shock. The song was starting again, for the seventh time; I took this opportunity during the intro to start apologizing. I took a deep breathe and began my speech.

"Bella, I want to apology for hurting you, it was a pointless attempt by leaving. It didn't do us any good, and just caused us both unnecessary suffering and I feel extremely guilty on how things turned out."

Bella tried putting on a strong face and started to speak. I paused my iPod so I could hear her instead of the blaring music.

She whispered, "Don't apologize; it isn't your fault that our love didn't work out, I brought this all upon myself, you can't take responsibility for how I feel. It was unavoidable that you left. If you stay, it'll just cause us more pain because we would be forcing a one sided relationship to work."

My heart felt like it'd been ripped out, and stretched until it tore apart, mangled in every way possible, lacerated into a million pieces, that was separately tortured, from being burned to being frozen, and crushed under the weight of the world as her last words sunk in.

It's over.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have returned. I promised I wouldn't, but I broke it by being here, and pushing myself onto you. I guess I should leave."

Sadly I started to move away, but Bella held me in place and asked in confusion

"What?! I'm the one who still loves you, what are you talking about pushing yourself onto me?"

I perked up once I heard the words "I still love you." There might be a chance after all, to mend our broken hearts, mine already felt like it was piecing back together.

"Edward. Explain, please." Bella pleaded.

"Bella, I thought you were talking about me, still loving you, but I see the feeling might be mutual." The lyrics of the song I had listened to echoed in my head.

_I found the phone_

_I must've missed your message_

_You got it wrong,_

_It wasn't what your friend said_.

"Bella, why did you try to call me?"

She blushed and answered "Because, I didn't want you to get hurt, I can't stand it if anything happened to you, because you felt guilty about me."

I gasped at what she said. "Is that what you think? That I went to Italy because I felt guilty, which I do, but that wasn't that reason. I thought you were dead."

"Why would that matter?" Bella asked.

Anger flickered through me as I said "Because I love you! Now you're making me think you only called because _you_ felt guilty."

"No, Edward, I still wouldn't want you to go to the Volturi, even if it wasn't because of me. Even if you weren't with me, even if we weren't together and you found someone else to make happy and love irrevocably…I'd wish you nothing but the best. Your happiness means so much to me. But Edward, listen and listen closely. I would never, _ever_ want you dead. I don't think I could stand it."

I couldn't doubt the sincerity in her voice and felt that she truly did love me if she could feel happy, thinking I was.

I sighed. "Fate is so twisted, don't you think?"

"Why would you say that?" She said as she looked at me through her thick lashes.

"Look." I said as I pulled out my phone "I found it crammed between the seats on the plane."

I flipped it open and showed her the list of missed calls. "If I wasn't so emotional when Rosalie called, and if I didn't thoughtlessly throw my phone in a trash can in Rio, we could have avoided all this." I groaned. "Now I put your life in danger." I added sadly. "Also, the coincidence of phoning you and having Jacob answer, telling me Charlie's not here and at a funeral, misleading me."

_Tell by your tone,_

_I've taken it too far again._

_Just when I thought I gone_

_And fixed it all again._

"Jacob? No, he wouldn't do that, he knows that I love you; he wouldn't lie to me by saying Carlisle called or try to purposely mislead you into thinking I'm dead." said Bella incredulously

"Are you sure about that, because I never told him I was Carlisle and he wasn't being cooperative when I asked him questions." I countered.

Bella looked extremely upset, "How could he do this to me? He was my best friend and I trusted him."

_Crap!_ Things were going so well and now I made her unhappy.

"Maybe I'm just over thinking things, and I didn't tell him who I was, so it could all be just a misunderstanding." I backtracked.

_Your friends are telling you,_

_You gotta move on._

_Just when I thought I'd gone_

_And wrecked it all again._

Before she could agree or disagree I asked her a question I was dying to know the answer to.

"Why haven't you moved on, while I was gone?"

Bella looked hurt and turned away from me as she said, "I was waiting for you to return, because I still loved you, did you want me to find someone else?"

"No, but I know your friend's at school, Mike, Jessica, Jacob and Charlie, keep convincing you that I wasn't going to come back."

"I knew that the chances of you coming back were slim, but I hoped you would. Why are you bringing this up? Are you going to leave me again?" Bella panicked. Her deep, sad brown eyes gazed into mine searching for the reassurance she so desperately needed…wanted.

_Damn it Edward! You're such an idiot! _I mentally scolded myself.

_You turned around so I could_

_Tell you what took so long_

_I don't know why I ever waited to say._

_Cuz I'm just dying just to see you again._

"No, I'm not leaving." I assured Bella. "I love you. I can't leave you; I was about to head back, that was before. It won't happen again. I care for you too much to put you through that pain again."

_Instead of holding you,_

_I was holding out._

_I should've let you in,_

_But I let you down._

Bella remained silent as I tried to explain to her how much I needed her.

"I should have protected you from this, from the werewolves, Victoria, the Volturi. Instead, I just withdrew myself from you. It was a failed attempt to keep you safe, and only caused more harm. I promise from now on I will be there for you and keep you safe."

"You Promise?" Bella said, finally getting a reaction out of her, the hint of skepticism making itself very evident.

_You were the first to give,_

_I was the first to ask._

_Now I'm in second place,_

_To get a second chance._

"I know I've broken promises but this time it'll be different." I tried to reassure her. "Please, can you give me another chance to prove to you I'm worthy for your trust again?"

She didn't answer, but seemed to be concentrating on my words and her thoughts. I reached for her, kneeling in front of her and gently placing her hands in my own.

_I should've known,_

_Took you and I for granted,_

_Gotta let you know,_

_I was never underhanded_

"If you do forgive me, I will cherish this love and never take it or you for granted again." When I finished, my body was coursing with anguish and I look over to Bella, waiting for her decision.

_Tell by your tone,_

_I've taken to far again._

_Just when I thought I'd gone_

_And fixed it all again._

Bella's expression was blank, before she finally, broke down sobbing. I gently ran soothing circles across her hands and palms.

_My friends are telling me_

_They saw with someone._

_Just when I though I'd gone_

_And wrecked it all again._

"I know, from Alice, that you and Jacob have a good relationship, a friendship that could develop into something more, but it's become strained because of our arrival. I'm sorry that I wrecked our relationship and a possible potential one with Jacob. If you'd like I could leave with Alice and hopefully things will go back to normal." I admitted, though I hated the idea of her being with a young werewolf who are highly dangerous when they loose they tempers.

_You turned around so I could_

_Tell what took so long._

_I don't know why I ever waited to say._

_Cuz I'm dying just to see you again._

"Edward Cullen!" Bella hissed loudly "How dare you say that! First you beg me for forgiveness and then you give up, trying to play matchmaker and offering me to Jacob! What happened to all the promises and making it up to me?!" She cried as she withdrew her hands from mine.

"Does that mean you forgive me?" I asked dumbfounded.

_Instead of holding you,_

_I was holding out._

_I should've let you in,_

_But I let you down._

I straightened up and waited tensely for her answer that would either crush my spirit, or mend my heart. She looked up at me with intense eyes that already told me the answer, yet I still wanted her to say it out loud.

"Yes, I forgive you Edward. How can I not, after hearing your side of the story. I disagree with your methods of handling things, but they were undoubtedly in the best intentions. I'm just so happy knowing your reasons and that you still love me in the same way I love you."

After hearing this I smiled and hugged her tightly against me, her forgiveness the key to unlocking my absent heart stored deep within the hole in my chest.

_You were the first to give,_

_I was the first to ask._

_Now I'm in second place,_

_To get a second chance_

"With this second chance, I'll never let you go again. No matter what you'll always be my top priority." I whispered affectionately in her ear and gently kissed her cheek.

_My last mistake,_

_Putting my friends first._

_I tried to laugh it off_

_But I made things worse._

I realized as soon as I made that promise that I couldn't keep it. I couldn't have her so close to me. Jasper is now under control but I couldn't guarantee it forever. The Volturi is also after her I can't risk the lives of my family.

There was only one conclusion; I would have to leave with her. But that would break my family apart, and right now with the Volturi involved, there was safety in numbers and we needed to stick together. I happened to glance towards Bella who was watching me intently.

She must have seen the look on face and said sourly "Already going back on your word?"

"No, just thinking about you and Jasper, and how this is going to work, he's been working on his self control, but it still has flaws, I just don't want you to be his lunch." I said chuckling lightly.

"Give him a break, Edward; he can't be perfect, everyone has some kind of weakness." said Bella rolling her eyes "But that's not what's bothering you, tell me the truth, no more lies." Bella demanded.

I gave a sigh of defeat. "I can't have you my first priority. That place for the moment is reserved for my family. I'm so sorry about breaking a promise already. You'll be a close second though if it means anything."

_You were the first to give,_

_I was the first to ask._

_Now in second place,_

_To get a second chance._

"Maybe I should have some second thoughts, on giving you a second chance!" Bella mocked sarcastically causing me to flinch back.

She can sure be mean sometimes when you get on her bad side I thought after her comment.

"I deserved that, after all you forgave me and I disappointed you again, leaving you in second place." I said relaxing my posture.

"Edward, why don't you change me, then I would be family and you can keep your promise." Bella suggested hopefully.

_What you give is _

_Always what you get._

_There so much I_

_Haven't given yet._

"But Bella, you'll have to sacrifice so much if you want to be like us." I protested.

"You're worth it."

"You'll be writhing in pain, for three days." I argued but she was having none of it.

"I had my fair share of being clumsy, pain is not a problem."

"You won't be able to have kids." I stated.

"That's ok, I have you and your family, and we could always adopt later like Esme."

"Fine, what about your family; Charlie, Renee, and Jacob?"

Bella was dumbstruck with no good come back. Finally she said "I'll deal with it after, I'm sure we would think of an excuse by then."

I couldn't believe her; she was selfless, and now I was speechless.

"This isn't really about those reasons you listed. It's more about damning my soul, isn't it?" Bella assumed.

"Yes, that's also part of the problem. Newborns are wild and it would take years before you can learn to control yourself. You'll always be craving blood. I don't want to give you that kind of lifestyle."

"Well, if you want me and your family to stay safe, you have to change me eventually. The Volturi will be back if you don't."

"They won't remember you till your thirty and by then, I'll have a plan to get you away."

"Maybe I have to go back and remind them, and _they_ seemed eager to change me." Bella retorted with a dark glint in her eyes.

I gasped "You wouldn't do that!"

"Try me" Bella threatened.

"I rather not" I said between my gritted teeth.

Bella was getting a bit cocky, knowing she had me trapped but I wasn't giving up yet, she needed to be put in her place.

"Bella, how about we make a deal and I will change you?" I requested.

Bella eyes narrowed suspiciously at me. "At what cost?" she asked poker faced.

"Five years." I suggested which she instantly slammed down that idea.

"How about graduation, when I move out of Charlie's house and our excuse could be going to college?"

"No, that's way too soon, three years?"

"No, I'm not going past the age twenty let alone twenty-one while you stay seventeen."

"Fine" I said my face still composed. "I guess you rather be changed by some Italy freaks, than me" shrugging my shoulders effortlessly after, even though they were heavily weighing down on me.

Bella was calling my bluff "Well, I guess I have to fly back to Italy. My college fund will be more than enough to get there, and they might even offer me a job in their army."

She was playing hard to get, so I tried a different approach.

"How about instead of time, you just have to agree to one condition."

Bella seemed reluctant at first, but finally agreed, but only with one of her own condition, calling a compromise.

_If you could give _

_Another second chance._

_Just when I thought I'd gone_

_And fixed it all._

This was my second shot at my second chance and I was quite sure that this time it would go smoothly. I intended on going through with every word. I got off the bed and knelt down beside her. I reached down into my jean pocket and brought out a velvet little box, taking Bella's hand in mine.

"Bella, you are the most beautiful women I ever met, having eyes that can look deep within mine, seeing through me, and into my soul which I was so sure I lost. You have the sweetest voice I ever heard, laughter that chimes like bells. A touch that leaves a trail of burning sensation lingering on my skin. Your scent, so appealing it sings to me, like _la tua cantante_, as Aro puts it. You are so addicting; my brand of heroin, something I can't seem to get enough of. You're unpredictable, always surprising me and keeping me on the edge. Even with your clumsiness, I'll always be there to catch you when you fall. A personality so bright, it puts the sun to shame, you're the most forgiving person I know, having a heart that can love with no limits. You are the only creature to be able to awake the true me that's been shut away for far too long, the one who I've been wanting to be. I'm blessed to be given this second chance and I will not waste it, we'll together be forever, and with this I'll seal my promise."

After, I looked up to see Bella tears streaming down her face, I took my hand and caressed her cheek drying the teardrops. I opened the box and removed the ring from the box.

"Will you marry me, Isabella Marie Swan?"

She immediately snatched her hand away from mine, shock and a million other expressions written clear across her face.

"Sorry" she whispered returning her hand in mine. "I wasn't expecting that."

_My friends are telling me_

_They saw you someone._

_Just when I thought I'd gone_

_And wrecked it all again._

I recovered from my rejection and said with venom "Is it because of Jacob?"

Bella looked angrily at me and said in a cold tone "We're just friends."

"Charlie doesn't seem to think that." I accused.

"Why do you care what Charlie thinks?! I'm the one you should be thinking about, and I'm disappointed that you lost faith in me."

"You're right; I shouldn't judge you like that. You've stayed faithful to me all this time. I'm just jealous that Jacob and you are so close." I said chagrinned and lowered my head.

_You turned around so I could_

_Tell you what took so long._

_I don't know why I ever waited to say._

_Cuz I'm just dying just to see you._

"Jacob did help me a lot through my time of need, and I do love him, but only in a brotherly manner. It's a different feeling than what I have towards you. I only turned you down because I just didn't think that marriage was your condition." she said turning back and gently lifted my head up. I looked up into her intense brown eyes, losing myself in the emotions that filled them.

_Instead of holding you,_

_I was holding out._

_I should have let you in,_

_But I let you down._

"It's just that Charlie might not accept you, Renee is against marriage. After all she and Charlie married young and it didn't work out."

"Bella, what about you? Do you want to spend eternity with me?"

"Yes, I want more than anything for that."

"That's all I needed to know. Our relationship is different than theirs. You can't compare them." I told her.

"What about your family?" Bella asked worriedly.

_My last mistake,_

_Putting my friends first._

_I tried to laugh it off_

_But I made things worse_

"My family will love you…well maybe with the exception of Rosalie, but she'll just have to deal with it. So are you saying yes?" I asked again.

Bella nodded as I slipped the diamond ring on her finger.

"Are you ready to hear my condition?" Bella questioned.

"What is it?" I asked her warily.

"Well, as you said before once I turn into a vampire, I'll be different, so…"

"So…?" I repeated prompting her to go on.

"I want you to make love to me" she whispered looking away in embarrassment.

"Not so innocent are you, Bella. You're just joking, right?" I laughed nervously.

"No, that's my condition, and it's not funny" she said stubbornly.

"I know, but I rather it was, because I can't agree to it, I could crush you if I get carried away or worse…I could kill you if I lost control."

"You have a remarkably high amount of self-control; I think you can handle it."

"That's an unreasonable request, Bella."

"And marriage is a reasonable request!? That's my condition and I'm not changing it. You wanted me to have some human experiences, and this is one."

She was using my reasons against me and I couldn't deny her this request because I'm already taking so much from her. I nodded unwillingly but I insisted only after the wedding.

_You were the first to give,_

_I was the first to ask._

_Now in second place,_

_To get a second chance._

"Why does it matter?"

"I want to do this the right way, in the traditional order, I was brought up by."

"It's the twenty first century!" Bella whined.

"I know you're willing to give yourself to me now, but I want to protect our virtues, and wait till after we are married."

"I don't really care about that." Bella declared as she pulled me back on the bed and on top of her, kissing me fervently.

"But I do." I insisted pulling away reluctantly. I should have been given an award for having been able to turn down the love of my life. It took more will power then I ever thought I possessed.

"I've already broken all my other virtues. This is the only one I have left."

"Sorry, that was inconsiderate of me for only caring about my virtue and not thinking about yours, I shouldn't have done that." Bella said regretting her actions.

_Instead of holding you,_

_I was holding out_

_I should've let you in_

_But I let you down_

I kissed her forehead letting her know she was forgiven and I held her snuggly in my arms. "So we've come to an agreement then?" I asked.

"Yes, we have."

_You were the first to give,_

_I was the first to ask._

_Now in second place,_

_To get a second chance._

"I'll ask for Charlie's blessing for us after graduation." I informed Bella, who groaned at my plan.

"I hope you know this is part of the compromise." I said.

"Yes, I'm just not looking forward to it and the wedding." she said exasperated.

"But at least after, it'll be my side of the deal which I hope you'll keep."

"I swear, we'll try after the wedding and I'll change you so we can be together forever." I promised.

I bent down to softly kiss her delicate lips. As the kiss progress, it crossed the line of safety, so I had to pull away, ending it. Somehow Bella got tangled in one of my earphones during the kiss which I forgot I still had on.

I reached over and untangled it from her silky, smooth brown hair and pulled it out. Bella caught my hand as I was about to roll the cord around my iPod, and grabbed one the earphone, plugging it her ear.

"Is it on?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's paused right now; you want to listen to music?"

Bella nodded and sighed "I haven't listened to music in so long, it brings back too many memories."

I pressed play and the song that had been running though my head started.

When it finished, it restarted again and Bella asked curiously "You put it on repeat?"

"Yes, it was my inspiration for the apology. It matches the situation."

"No, not entirely, you were never in second place, you were and are always my first."

"Thank you." I whispered.

Then she snatched my iPod and started scrolling through the songs. A new song started and after the chorus I recognized it as _When I'm With You_ by Faber Drive.

Once it finished Bella said "Now this song matches this situation completely."

I agreed and said "This will be our song."

Each time the song repeated the lyrics became truer and truer; I couldn't believe how precise they were matching my feelings and thoughts. From the first day I met her, to when I left, to now and the future.

"I'll always be with you, Bella" I whispered as she dozed off.

"Me to…" Bella murmured as she fell into a peaceful sleep.


End file.
